speak out

Domestic violence: 

Listen, Learn, Raise Awareness and Speak Out! 

Domestic violence is about power and control. A pattern of assaultive and/or coercive behaviors,  including physical, sexual, and psychological attacks, as well as economic coercion, that adults or  adolescents use against their intimate partners. 

Educate Yourself….Domestic Violence is “The Silent Killer” 

Know the Signs 

There is no one typical, detectable personality of an abuser. However, they do often display common characteristics: 

• Your partner prevents you from spending time with others. Isolates you from friends and family.

• An abuser often denies the existence or minimizes the seriousness of the violence and its effect on the victim and other family members

• An abuser objectifies the victim and often sees them as their property or sexual objects.

• An abuser blames you and your perceived “shortcomings” for their inability to control their emotions and actions.

• An abuser has low self-esteem and feels powerless and ineffective in the world. He or she may appear successful, but internally, they feel inadequate.

• An abuser damages your personal property.

• An abuser externalizes the causes of their behavior. They blame their violence on circumstances such as stress, their partner’s behavior, a “bad day,” on alcohol, drugs, or other factors.

• An abuser may be pleasant and charming between periods of violence and is often seen as a “nice person” to others outside the relationship.

• Your partner excessively criticizes you, calls you names, insults your physical apperance,  race, heritage, or religion.
• Your partner intentionally humiliates you.
• You have a constant feeling of “Walking on Eggshells” or apprehension around your  partner.
• You minimize your experience, abuse or injuries.
• You feel reliant on your partner as your main source of comfort and support.
• You focus on your partner’s needs before your own.
• You think or act to protect or justify your partner and their actions 

WHAT ARE THE “WARNING SIGNS” OF AN ABUSER:

Red flags and warning signs of an abuser include but are not limited to:

• Extreme jealousy
• Possessiveness
• Unpredictability
• A bad temper
• Cruelty to animals
• Verbal abuse
• Extremely controlling behavior
• Antiquated beliefs about roles of women and men in relationships
• Forced sex or disregard of their partner’s unwillingness to have sex
• Sabotage of birth control methods or refusal to honor agreed upon methods
• Blaming the victim for anything bad that happens
• Sabotage or obstruction of the victim’s ability to work or attend school
• Controls all the finances
• Abuse of other family members, children or pets
• Accusations of the victim flirting with others or having an affair
• Control of what the victim wears and how they act
• Demeaning the victim either privately or publicly

• Embarrassment or humiliation of the victim in front of others

• Harassment of the victim at work

For anonymous, confidential help available 24/7, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) now.