Domestic violence: 

Listen, Learn, Raise Awareness and Speak Out! 

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Domestic violence is about power and control. A pattern of assaultive and/or coercive behaviors,  including physical, sexual, and psychological attacks, as well as economic coercion, that adults or  adolescents use against their intimate partners. 

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Educate Yourself….Domestic Violence is “The Silent Killer” 

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Know the Signs 

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There is no one typical, detectable personality of an abuser. However, they do often display common characteristics: 

• Your partner prevents you from spending time with others. Isolates you from friends and family.

• An abuser often denies the existence or minimizes the seriousness of the violence and its effect on the victim and other family members

• An abuser objectifies the victim and often sees them as their property or sexual objects.

• An abuser blames you and your perceived “shortcomings” for their inability to control their emotions and actions.

• An abuser has low self-esteem and feels powerless and ineffective in the world. He or she may appear successful, but internally, they feel inadequate.

• An abuser damages your personal property.

• An abuser externalizes the causes of their behavior. They blame their violence on circumstances such as stress, their partner’s behavior, a “bad day,” on alcohol, drugs, or other factors.

• An abuser may be pleasant and charming between periods of violence and is often seen as a “nice person” to others outside the relationship.

• Your partner excessively criticizes you, calls you names, insults your physical apperance,  race, heritage, or religion.

• Your partner intentionally humiliates you.

• You have a constant feeling of “Walking on Eggshells” or apprehension around your  partner.

• You minimize your experience, abuse or injuries.

• You feel reliant on your partner as your main source of comfort and support.

• You focus on your partner’s needs before your own.

• You think or act to protect or justify your partner and their actions 

 

WHAT ARE THE “WARNING SIGNS” OF AN ABUSER:

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Red flags and warning signs of an abuser include but are not limited to:

• Extreme jealousy

• Possessiveness

• Unpredictability

• A bad temper

• Cruelty to animals

• Verbal abuse

• Extremely controlling behavior

• Antiquated beliefs about roles of women and men in relationships

• Forced sex or disregard of their partner’s unwillingness to have sex

• Sabotage of birth control methods or refusal to honor agreed upon methods

• Blaming the victim for anything bad that happens

• Sabotage or obstruction of the victim’s ability to work or attend school

• Controls all the finances

• Abuse of other family members, children or pets

• Accusations of the victim flirting with others or having an affair

• Control of what the victim wears and how they act

• Demeaning the victim either privately or publicly

• Embarrassment or humiliation of the victim in front of others

• Harassment of the victim at work